Updated: Sep 14, 2021
Answer honestly: When was the last time you tried to hide your weaknesses and fears?
We all do it - especially when we try to impress another person or don't feel fully accepted. Unfortunately, this is NOT the way to build relationships. We have to share our fears and failures to actually deepen and strengthen our relationships!
Being vulnerable is not a comfortable feeling. It means letting your guard down, showing a side of you that might or might not be liked and involves a lot of uncertainty. That's why the default mode is to avoid vulnerability. But - it's in those vulnerable moments that we are the most authentic and brave version of ourselves. A version that creates the deepest relationships, gains self-confidence and grows stronger.
While we cannot be vulnerable 24 hours a day, it's important to dare greatly (as Brené Brown put it) from time to time.
Important difference: Are you being vulnerable or protective? Most people, including me, are rather protective to minimise the chances of being hurt. Being vulnerable is easy in theory. But in practice, it takes a lot of courage. Who wants to talk about failure, insecurities or even heartbreak?
I have good news: You can train yourself to be more vulnerable. 🤓
Start by understanding the difference between being vulnerable and protective. Being vulnerable means talking about your own insecurities and communicating your needs and desires. Being protective is valuing harmony more over authenticity in a relationship.
A tricky thing with vulnerability is also the cycle you are often stuck in when you decide to be vulnerable for once: The vulnerability hangover cycle! The worst hangover and the one we barely ever talk about.
Maybe you know this feeling...You work up all the courage and do something vulnerable, ask somebody out, speak up at work or try something you've never done before. For a second there you feel proud. But then...slowly this feeling is creeping in. The second-guessing, the insecurity - until you experience a full wave of regret. When the vulnerability hangover hits, all you want to do is hide.
But you know what? This is NORMAL.
Just like you get sore muscles from training your body, sometimes you feel bruised from emotional exposure. The good thing is: Every training will make you stronger. More resilient. More emotionally aware. So keep practicing and don't be afraid when that wave hits you. Because sooner or later, you'll be able to surf it 🏄
Our program helps you train your vulnerability muscles - together with your group.